


I Don't Have a Ride

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Saved
Genre: F/M, Gen, Missing Scene, Yuletide, Yuletide 2008
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-23
Updated: 2008-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A choice must be made between what is wanted and what is needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Have a Ride

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Written for: Obfuscate in the Yuletide 2008 Challenge
> 
> A huge thanks to my betas, the wonderful Snow and Mardy

"Wait!"

Roland watched Cassandra drive away, and he wasn't even sure if the words had come out of his mouth, or if he had just whispered them in his own mind.

"I don't have a ride."

All the things he could have said swirled in his thoughts. "I believe you." "Don't leave me." "Take me with you." "Let me help you." Maybe even "I love you." He wasn't sure if he ever said any of those words out loud either.

Roland sat there for a bit longer, thinking. He could call home, or call Hillary-Faye, but that would put him right back into her clutches, which was the opposite of what he wanted.

Time passed. A few children played a game of soccer down the street. The sun sank lower in the afternoon sky.

Come to think of it, Roland wasn't actually sure what he wanted from his life. Not to be at Hillary-Faye's mercy, obviously, but what else did he want?

An image of him and Cassandra from a few weekends ago flashed across his mind and Roland couldn't help but smile. Well, he knew that he wanted _that_, but what did he want when it came to life after high school? What about his future?

He could always go to a college and study math or science. Something that had nothing to do with God or any kind of religion. He could find a job somewhere local, like a theater ticket-taker or an office assistant. Or he could just live with his parents for the rest of his life. It wasn't like they couldn't afford to support him. Especially if Hillary-Faye went off as a missionary to all the _heathen_ areas of the world and they stopped having to donate things to the school to fund her popularity.

But was any of that what Roland himself actually wanted to do with his life? In all honesty, he couldn't really say.

The sun sank even further, making the whole sky look as though it had burst into flame. The soccer-playing children were called home by their mothers and they scampered off into the sunset. Roland wheeled his chair off the sidewalk and onto the grass, and then slowly eased himself out of it.

He could have gone home - there were plenty of ways for him to catch a ride - but he needed the time alone to think. He needed to be outside and free of everything, including his chair and even his family. He just needed to be by himself, so that he could figure out who he was.

The fact that Hillary-Faye's huge Jesus statue was looming over him wasn't exactly helpful, but it didn't really hinder his ability to think either, and Roland liked his odds of not getting mugged while lying under a giant disapproving Jesus.

As the first stars of the night came out, Roland came to a conclusion about himself. He had always disliked having to rely on other people, though it hadn't seemed quite the same with Hillary-Faye. As her brother, as the one who had to put up with her constant, overwhelming, capital "F" Faith, Roland felt he was entitled to take a little back from her. Plus she was kind of a bitch.

It hadn't felt the same, relying on Cassandra, either, but Roland couldn't quite place why. Perhaps it was because she let him drive sometimes. Perhaps it was because she was willing to just drive away from him.

Perhaps it was because of how much he liked her.

Roland wasn't entirely sure where that thought had come from, but the more that he thought about it, the more that he felt that it was right. He _liked_ Cassandra - the kind of like where he could actually picture them still living together twenty years from now and maybe even having kids together someday.

He wasn't going to call it anything so pathetic as true love, or meant to be, but he definitely could see the potential for them to have a future together. A future that he really wouldn't have any complaints about. It could be crazy and unpredictable, but it could also be good. Good for him.

Roland didn't realize when he stopped thinking and slipped into dreaming, but the next thing that he noticed was the sun hitting his face. Roland propped himself up and looked around. It was morning, and not particularly early, but since it was a Saturday, no one was hanging around the school yet.

There was a tiny bit of dew on his jacket and pants, which Roland ignored. The spring morning was full of warm air, particularly in the sun, and what little dampness there was would dry in a matter of minutes. He glanced over at his chair and saw that none of his things had been touched while he slept. Roland allowed himself a small smirk of triumph that sleeping beneath the watchful eyes of the Savior had indeed prevented anyone from bothering him.

Looking up, Roland saw the huge Jesus statue looking down on him, and once again marveled at the creepiness of his sister's devotion to her Faith. Roland hadn't felt so strongly about anything since before the accident, but now he felt like he just might have that strength within him. Maybe he could be with someone, and do things, because he wanted to do them.

Not because they were all that he could do, or because they were what he was forced into by his condition. When he graduated, Roland would be able to make his own choices about his life. And the choice he wanted to make, he realized, was to be with Cassandra.

Resolved, and feeling better, despite having spent the whole night sleeping on the damp ground, Roland pulled himself up into his chair and then aimed himself towards the nearest city bus stop. It was a good five blocks away, but he was more than capable of wheeling himself that far. He was capable of a lot of things, actually, and Roland just hoped that talking to Cassandra about the future was one of them.


End file.
